Have I been probed?

This is a very embarrassing thing to ask and I feel slightly retarded for wondering this but please don’t judge me for it because I need an honest answer.

I’ve been getting a strange feeling in my behind which feels like somebody has stuck something up there and I’m not really sure how to explain why I feel this way.

I have not made any assumptions as to whether or not I have been abducted by aliens and/or probed by aliens as I have not found any evidence so I have been keeping an open mind and I’ve avoided making judgements since I have no knowledge of such a thing. Also, I’m not sure if this is true or not, but from what I hear, after being abducted by aliens, they wipe your memory so that you will have no recollection of what happened to you (does anyone know if this is true?)

Anyway, this feeling is not sore or painful but it does feel odd and somewhat uncomfortable.

I know it sounds ridiculous, ladies and gentlemen but I’m not sure how else this can be rationalised.

What do you think?

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